Obscure Comedy Writer Harassed As Alleged Author of 'This Week in Prospect Park'

Prospect Park Alliance employees, as well as residents of Park Slope, Brooklyn, this week rallied behind little-known and only semi-talented stage comedy and children's book author Soren Kisiel as major media outlets claimed to have 'unveiled' him as the alleged author of the popular Prospect Park announcement board 'This Week in Prospect Park.'

"Why can't they just leave people alone?" asked Park Slope's David Haskill, stay-at-home dad and Dungeon Master of Kisiel's weekly Tuesday night Dungeon's and Dragons™ game. "Soren didn't deserve this."

"Soren's an okay guy, but he's kind of a nobody. Who cares?" added Park Slope's Adam DiLeo, lawyer for the City of New York and Dungeon Master of Kisiel's weekly Thursday night D&D game. "He made that one supposedly funny video about Park Slope parents, which honestly I found kind of insulting."

"If I'm reading these articles correctly," said Prospect Park staff Physicist/Observational-Phenomenologist Jayesh Subramani, "they are implying that I don't exist? That I'm a fiction? That's an interesting question, really—do any of us actually exist? And if so, by what measure could you prove that you actually exist? I challenge them to prove that they exist."

Kisiel released a public statement on Tuesday expounding that he has "never even been to Prospect Park." He has otherwise been unavailable for comment, having been accepted into the 'Harassed Celebrity' Program of the Park Slope Food Co-op, giving him access to the Co-op basement’s Safe Room across from the Cheese Fridge, next to the Meat Cooler.