Gnome Clans File Formal Complaint Over Anti-Litter Campaign

Prospect Park’s Gnome clans have lodged a formal complaint against the park’s Public Safety Department for a summer anti-litter campaign that they say was disparaging to the clans’ dignity.

The campaign’s posters, part of an effort to cut down on used condoms left on the park’s woodland trails, depict an illustration of a used condom with the words, “You don’t want a Gnome to accidentally use this as a hat, do you? Please throw away your condoms.”

“We were just trying to be cute,” said Public Safety Department Communications Director Alma Sawyer. “We have nothing but respect for the Gnomes, and sincerely apologize for any offense. Some of our best friends are Gnomes.”

The Gnomes’ complaint requests that the employees of the Public Safety Department who were responsible for the posters be required to take diversity training courses, and issue a formal apology.

“For months we considered just letting it go,” said Gorvind Woodhound, speaking on behalf of the Wideleaf Gnomes. “But it stuck with us—is that really what they think of us? Do they think we’re stupid? Obviously we’re not going to wear used condoms as hats. That’s disgusting. And most of them aren’t even red.”